Coping with Pregnancy the Second Time Around

I’m Neha, and together with my husband Dipe, we run Sonality.  We have a 2 year old daughter, Mia and our youngest, Eva, is 12 weeks old.

Having had Eva not so long ago, I wanted to share my experience of pregnancy second time round with you all as I’m sure many second time mummy’s can/will relate to this. Where did the time go?! Everything felt familiar, but was completely different!

The Trimesters

First Trimester…. definitely harder than the first. Same as with the first pregnancy, I was really lucky that I only suffered with morning sickness for about 2 weeks (no vomiting, just a lot of nausea). First time round I was told to rest, put my feet up but this time round I didn’t have the luxury of free time, resting, napping etc as I was chasing around after a 15 month old! Sometimes I even forgot I was pregnant!

Second Trimester was pretty much the same as the first but then the Third was again harder! Same issues with running around after a toddler but this time round I just felt BIGGER and much more pregnant. I wasn’t exercising at all this time round (just because I didn’t have the time!) and juggling working on Sonality and looking after a toddler I felt constantly zapped of energy!

Worry

The first time round, the day we found out we were pregnant was the day all the worry kicked in. What if we miscarried? What if it was an ectopic pregnancy? What if there was no heartbeat? We worried so much that when I was 5 weeks pregnant, I had a ‘stitch’ like pain and was so convinced that it was an ectopic pregnancy (google is not always your friend!) that we traipsed to Harley Street for a private check/scan only to be told that everything was fine and it was just my uterus growing. I also worried about how I would know what to do! How would I know when the baby was hungry/tired. How would I know how to bath her or if she should wear a bodysuit and a baby grow and a sleeping bag at night time? The second time round, the worry was still there however I knew to have much more faith in my body. It knows what to do and most of the time all those aches/pains/weird feelings are normal! I know what to do when the little one arrives (well…we just about remembered!) and am well aware of all the developmental leaps, sleep regressions, separation anxiety and that everything else that comes with having a new baby. I know that I will cope and everything will fall into place.

Research

First time round I did as much research as I could about labour, delivery, breastfeeding and looking after a newborn baby. I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting and the Week by Week Pregnancy Book every day to see how my baby was forming and developing (I could tell you week on week which vegetable the baby was the same size as!)  I read numerous blogs and articles on pregnancy and newborns and watched One Born Every Minute every week! I googled every twinge/unusual movement and read up on all the different types of births. I meticulously researched car seats, buggys, high chairs, breast pumps etc. This time round I have read a few articles/blog posts from mums with 2 children but that’s about it! The days and weeks just flew by and I barely remembered how many weeks pregnant I was!

Preparation

First time round I was so well prepared! I had lists and spreadsheets of what the baby would need and a ‘mummy and baby’ hospital bag checklist. All the newborn sleepsuits, babygrows, bodysuits, vest, blankets, muslins etc were washed and organised in the nursery by week 35. My hospital bag was packed, car seat installed in the car, the cot setup in our bedroom, bassinet setup in the living room and all the technology (bottle steriliser, prep machine, breast pump etc) setup and ready to go just in case the baby decided to make an early appearance. This time round this is not the case! It wasn’t until 39 weeks that we got everything out of storage and packed my hospital bag! Even though we knew what to expect this time round, we really were winging in!

So there it is. Second time round was very different! However the outcome was the same. One thing I knew for sure is, when Eva arrived my heart would expand to make place for her and I’d love her just the same as I did with Mia. All the rest I figured I’d remember, or I’d wing it! I’m sure most mums can relate to some of this. It is really important to take time out for yourself, even if it’s just 5 minutes here or there or an hour on the weekend. It is hard to do this so here are some tips for your second pregnancy:

• You’ll be spending all day running after your first born so make sure you take time out to bond with your baby. Take time out in the evenings, just like I did in my first pregnancy to sit, hold, stroke my tummy and talk to the baby
• Try and make some time for yourself. The second time round there is not much time to indulge the pregnancy. So in order to make some time for myself, my husband used to take Mia out on Saturday mornings so I could sit down, chill out and drink a cup of tea (decaf of course) in peace!
• Go to bed earlier! It’s very tempting to sit and watch a bit of TV or catch up on housework once your little one is in bed but I tried to go to bed early once a week just to help me maintain my energy levels. 

• Going to the gym may not be an option anymore however try and build exercise into your day if you can. Whether its walking in the park with your little one or going for a swim together, building it in as part of your day will really help and the exercise will be good for you and your unborn child. 

Neha Rajani, Sonality - visit her shop here.

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